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The HR Den is platform offering career advice and guidance to women of color who are soon-to-be college graduates or college alumni who are LOST and are having a difficult time figuring out where to start in their careers with a social science or humanities degree. Figuring out what to do with your life is never easy and can cause major stress! Trust... we know the feeling. The HR Den is an open space for answers to questions and concerns you have, and serves as a space to connect with other women dealing with the same issues.

Editor's Letter: 3 Things Rejection Taught Me

Tiffany Drysdale

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One thing my mother always told me was that we should always anticipate hearing the word "No" the very same way that we expect to hear the word "Yes". This allowed for me to learn how to cope with rejection and not beat myself up too much.

Rejection isn't pretty. Whether it be from a much-coveted job opportunity, admission into a potential life-changing university or even a relationship; rejection can pull us into a really deep sunken place, a place that you might never want to revisit EVER. 

However, rejection can really teach you some valuable life lessons and I wanted to share them with you this month! 

1) It's time for self-analysis
We have to remember that everything happens for a reason and at the right time. Maybe you weren't selected for that job because, in fact, you aren't as strong enough in a particular skill-set just yet. Or maybe you got denied for an academic program because your grades just weren't good enough. Rejection can sometimes teach us a lot about ourselves and allow us to do some self-reflection. So instead of being down, take rejection as an opportunity to learn how you can become a better version of you 

2) It isn't necessarily a reflection of you
Rejection can also just be due to circumstances. Just because you didn't get the job doesn't mean that you weren't a good fit. Rejection can be circumstantial.  I remember going through a marathon interview back in 2016 and interviewing with 6 senior level executives all in one day for a role that I thought I really wanted at the time. I knew I killed it in the interviews and really thought that I definitely got the job. One week later after sending all six individuals custom thank you emails and doing all the right things, I got a call just to tell me that I wasn't being selected for the role. The company decided to move along with an internal applicant. They tried to stroke my ego and tell me how wonderful I was (when quite frankly I could care less hearing that- I know how good I am lol). However, as much as I wanted to cry, I stopped myself and remembered that this rejection wasn't indicative of my capabilities. It was merely circumstantial. 

3) A closed door opens new opportunities
With rejection, we never know what new opportunities might be on the horizon. We often perceive an unfortunate situation as a negative one when it might, in fact, be a path into a new direction. When I was faced with rejection from the coveted prospective job opportunity back in 2016, I had to wait for about 4-5 more months before an even better opportunity came into my life. I never want to get too spiritual but I truly do believe that everything happens for a reason. We might not understand it right now, in 3 months or even a year from now. But one day it will all come full circle and shit will all make sense. Trust me. I'm living proof and have witnessed this myself.